Here is the take of all takes on this whole "Year two-thousand" thing, or Y2k for all the lazy fucks in the world. Are we going to die? If so, what will it be from? A robot, a comet, or a plague? I don't think so, we aren't that lucky. Our problem is summed up in three syllables. "Pi-ca-chu" More like pi-ca-horse shit. Who would think that Dungeons and Dragons, wait, I mean Magic, no, wait, I mean Pokémon could affect us? Not at all you say? Bullshit. Your kids love one of the most worthless things ever to come across the face of the Earth.

Luckily, this Earth-ending fad will be over with soon, as we close off the end of the millennium. Even if we don't all die from the wrath of the Pokémon robot, the fucking cards and toys will surely be gone by May. Next year's fad will probably be money. Yeah, money. The Japanese will corner our ass once again. This time, it will be by ruining our economy. I can see the commercial now..."Hey kids, first they brought you the Gig-A-Pet, and then Pokémon. And now, they bring American money. Get all the money you can and send it to Japan for us to burn, and you will be sent the all-new Pokémon 2 cards. And, you know the cards are the same but the wrapper has little "two" stickers all over it.

Then, those mechanical cards will unite on December 31st, 2000, to celebrate the new millennium, and destroy all thee people who were too stupid to realize that Pokémon and all things affiliated with it are one big piece of shit. Hey, if the "Bible" can predict Princess Di getting in a car accident, I can predict this. Do you remember the show "Transformers"? They are "more than meets the eye," right? Well, sing it with me...Pokémon...They love to see you die.

That certain country is sick of our fucking ridicule and sick of being beat to shit by every other country in wars. They are pissed, and now, we're fucked.

Any way, what the hell is God thinking if he blows the world up in the year 2000? How fucking weak would that be? He should just send some ironic plague to Europe to make us suffer. Of course, it would start in France, so we can blame them for something. Oh, wait, never mind, they have done enough already. I guess if the plague started there, it would be so we can blame them AGAIN. The epidemic might as well start in Switzerland.

Two thousand is such an insignificant number if the Earth has been here for four million years. Gladly, we have genius minds such as Stephen Grindstaff, Trey Parker, and Matt Stone helping out mankind by warning us of the impending peril of the "Pokémon Plague." Death by cards and toys, very nice, God. See...irony. Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone have already aired their thoughts and have warned us all. Thanks fellas. It has been your best yet.

Have you ever wondered why your pets are acting so psychotic? Check their asses. I am not shitting you. By much research and opinions from Kevin, Bean, and some unknown surgeon general, it is now known that seeing the Pokémon movie can give you ass cancer. So, it is implied that adults and pets can get ass cancer from touching, chewing, or even glancing at the little bastards. The problem is that kids are immune, so they do not realize the fucking hell that everyone is going through.

As we approach the zero hour, just kick back, relax, enjoy some brew, and watch nothing happen in your drunken stupor. If shit does happen, we'll have a little bit of time to get ready, fuck one more time, and get completely toasted all because of those time zone things. Hey, thank the railroads. Just don't sit there and let your children indulge in this stupid shit. You have a month left not to waste your money, so enjoy it at the strip bar, or spend it on beer. Anyway, we wasted enough on Pogs. Those other little pieces of paper we forgot about a year after they hit the states. Yeah, you fucking idiot.

Well, that's all you're getting this month. E-mail us to ask any questions or give any comments. I have to go prepare for New Year's Eve. (See the sentence about seven lines up.) Actually, I think I will go to Burger King and scalp Pokémon toys. I could probably get at least 20 bucks for one of those pieces of shit. Later. Have fun bringing in the New Year. There is nothing more exhilarating than watching football with a hangover.

Here is the take of all takes on this whole "Year two-thousand" thing, or Y2k for all the lazy fucks in the world. Are we going to die? If so, what will it be from? A robot, a comet, or a plague? I don't think so, we aren't that lucky. Our problem is summed up in three syllables. "Pi-ca-chu" More like pi-ca-horse shit. Who would think that Dungeons and Dragons, wait, I mean Magic, no, wait, I mean Pokémon could affect us? Not at all you say? Bullshit. Your kids love one of the most worthless things ever to come across the face of the Earth.

Luckily, this Earth-ending fad will be over with soon, as we close off the end of the millennium. Even if we don't all die from the wrath of the Pokémon robot, the fucking cards and toys will surely be gone by May. Next year's fad will probably be money. Yeah, money. The Japanese will corner our ass once again. This time, it will be by ruining our economy. I can see the commercial now..."Hey kids, first they brought you the Gig-A-Pet, and then Pokémon. And now, they bring American money. Get all the money you can and send it to Japan for us to burn, and you will be sent the all-new Pokémon 2 cards. And, you know the cards are the same but the wrapper has little "two" stickers all over it.

Then, those mechanical cards will unite on December 31st, 2000, to celebrate the new millennium, and destroy all thee people who were too stupid to realize that Pokémon and all things affiliated with it are one big piece of shit. Hey, if the "Bible" can predict Princess Di getting in a car accident, I can predict this. Do you remember the show "Transformers"? They are "more than meets the eye," right? Well, sing it with me...Pokémon...They love to see you die.

That certain country is sick of our fucking ridicule and sick of being beat to shit by every other country in wars. They are pissed, and now, we're fucked.

Any way, what the hell is God thinking if he blows the world up in the year 2000? How fucking weak would that be? He should just send some ironic plague to Europe to make us suffer. Of course, it would start in France, so we can blame them for something. Oh, wait, never mind, they have done enough already. I guess if the plague started there, it would be so we can blame them AGAIN. The epidemic might as well start in Switzerland.

Two thousand is such an insignificant number if the Earth has been here for four million years. Gladly, we have genius minds such as Stephen Grindstaff, Trey Parker, and Matt Stone helping out mankind by warning us of the impending peril of the "Pokémon Plague." Death by cards and toys, very nice, God. See...irony. Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone have already aired their thoughts and have warned us all. Thanks fellas. It has been your best yet.

Have you ever wondered why your pets are acting so psychotic? Check their asses. I am not shitting you. By much research and opinions from Kevin, Bean, and some unknown surgeon general, it is now known that seeing the Pokémon movie can give you ass cancer. So, it is implied that adults and pets can get ass cancer from touching, chewing, or even glancing at the little bastards. The problem is that kids are immune, so they do not realize the fucking hell that everyone is going through.

As we approach the zero hour, just kick back, relax, enjoy some brew, and watch nothing happen in your drunken stupor. If shit does happen, we'll have a little bit of time to get ready, fuck one more time, and get completely toasted all because of those time zone things. Hey, thank the railroads. Just don't sit there and let your children indulge in this stupid shit. You have a month left not to waste your money, so enjoy it at the strip bar, or spend it on beer. Anyway, we wasted enough on Pogs. Those other little pieces of paper we forgot about a year after they hit the states. Yeah, you fucking idiot.

Well, that's all you're getting this month. E-mail us to ask any questions or give any comments. I have to go prepare for New Year's Eve. (See the sentence about seven lines up.) Actually, I think I will go to Burger King and scalp Pokémon toys. I could probably get at least 20 bucks for one of those pieces of shit. Later. Have fun bringing in the New Year. There is nothing more exhilarating than watching football with a hangover.

Here is the take of all takes on this whole "Year two-thousand" thing, or Y2k for all the lazy fucks in the world. Are we going to die? If so, what will it be from? A robot, a comet, or a plague? I don't think so, we aren't that lucky. Our problem is summed up in three syllables. "Pi-ca-chu" More like pi-ca-horse shit. Who would think that Dungeons and Dragons, wait, I mean Magic, no, wait, I mean Pokémon could affect us? Not at all you say? Bullshit. Your kids love one of the most worthless things ever to come across the face of the Earth.

Luckily, this Earth-ending fad will be over with soon, as we close off the end of the millennium. Even if we don't all die from the wrath of the Pokémon robot, the fucking cards and toys will surely be gone by May. Next year's fad will probably be money. Yeah, money. The Japanese will corner our ass once again. This time, it will be by ruining our economy. I can see the commercial now..."Hey kids, first they brought you the Gig-A-Pet, and then Pokémon. And now, they bring American money. Get all the money you can and send it to Japan for us to burn, and you will be sent the all-new Pokémon 2 cards. And, you know the cards are the same but the wrapper has little "two" stickers all over it.

Then, those mechanical cards will unite on December 31st, 2000, to celebrate the new millennium, and destroy all thee people who were too stupid to realize that Pokémon and all things affiliated with it are one big piece of shit. Hey, if the "Bible" can predict Princess Di getting in a car accident, I can predict this. Do you remember the show "Transformers"? They are "more than meets the eye," right? Well, sing it with me...Pokémon...They love to see you die.

That certain country is sick of our fucking ridicule and sick of being beat to shit by every other country in wars. They are pissed, and now, we're fucked.

Any way, what the hell is God thinking if he blows the world up in the year 2000? How fucking weak would that be? He should just send some ironic plague to Europe to make us suffer. Of course, it would start in France, so we can blame them for something. Oh, wait, never mind, they have done enough already. I guess if the plague started there, it would be so we can blame them AGAIN. The epidemic might as well start in Switzerland.

Two thousand is such an insignificant number if the Earth has been here for four million years. Gladly, we have genius minds such as Stephen Grindstaff, Trey Parker, and Matt Stone helping out mankind by warning us of the impending peril of the "Pokémon Plague." Death by cards and toys, very nice, God. See...irony. Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone have already aired their thoughts and have warned us all. Thanks fellas. It has been your best yet.

Have you ever wondered why your pets are acting so psychotic? Check their asses. I am not shitting you. By much research and opinions from Kevin, Bean, and some unknown surgeon general, it is now known that seeing the Pokémon movie can give you ass cancer. So, it is implied that adults and pets can get ass cancer from touching, chewing, or even glancing at the little bastards. The problem is that kids are immune, so they do not realize the fucking hell that everyone is going through.

As we approach the zero hour, just kick back, relax, enjoy some brew, and watch nothing happen in your drunken stupor. If shit does happen, we'll have a little bit of time to get ready, fuck one more time, and get completely toasted all because of those time zone things. Hey, thank the railroads. Just don't sit there and let your children indulge in this stupid shit. You have a month left not to waste your money, so enjoy it at the strip bar, or spend it on beer. Anyway, we wasted enough on Pogs. Those other little pieces of paper we forgot about a year after they hit the states. Yeah, you fucking idiot.

Well, that's all you're getting this month. E-mail us to ask any questions or give any comments. I have to go prepare for New Year's Eve. (See the sentence about seven lines up.) Actually, I think I will go to Burger King and scalp Pokémon toys. I could probably get at least 20 bucks for one of those pieces of shit. Later. Have fun bringing in the New Year. There is nothing more exhilarating than watching football with a hangover.