Welcome to the Dead Midget Society Online Comedy Magazine...............Please read our CURRENT issue, "January/February," vol. 3, no's 1&2 ..........Includes Whoroscopes: "Capricorn-Dec.23-Jan.19: You're gonna die."........."Sagittarius-Nov.23-Dec.22: You're gonna die.".........Obituaries: "Dead, as yet unknown male, mid to late teens. His face was cut off and it appears it was quickly used to eat out his wounded sister’s pussy. Then the popular kids kept screaming “fuck face” at the high school’s next pep rally.".........Mattitude thought of the week:"What would the world be like without Captain HOOK?"................NEWS...WAR.....March 15.....Be There!.............Archives.....Check out the Author Index.....see an author you like? Then check the Author Index to see what other articles that particlular author has written...............Pennies & Non-Sense:  Street values (as of 5:30p.m. PDT, 2-16)   Mary Jane; 1g: $20, 1/8oz.: $50 (Orange,CA)...$60 (LA County), Heaven in a cow's ass;  1/8oz.: $25...1/2oz.: $100..............Web Links.....New links for January/February 2003:  www.tshirthell.com...If you’re going to consume, at least make it funny and offensive......www.gregpalast.com...He knows stuff the government won’t mention in the news. And he has proof......www.drugwarfacts.org...Read the web address again, dickweed. Enlightening.......
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ARCHIVES is the section of the web site where we have archived our past articles, pieces, editorials as well as old Classified Ads, Obituaries and Whoroscopes. One can also find past articles by author as well.
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WEB LINKS is a fairly self explanatory section to our web site. The links compiled here are some of our favorites, or just plain weird shit we come across while searching for porn. Please enjoy!
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Library is a section of the site where all members of the Dead Midget Society post reviews of books we've read and highly recomend. Please enjoy, or fuck off. We don't care.
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SPORTS
Kill Bill, vol. 1
Scary Movie 3
Superjoint concert review
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Marlins win series; Yanks commit team suicide. More (link)
You Decide '04
Why politics? Why now? Who cares? These are just a few of the questions I had to seriously ask of myself before taking on this assignment. Who would volunteer to leave the relative comfort of their safe, heated apartment in Southern California to go on the road in order to cover the 2004 Presidential Campaign? Who indeed? Not me, but my boss informed me that I wouldn't have a safe, heated apartment to leave if I didn't take this job. So here I go, off on the campaign trail to do a few stories about the American political process. Assume this:  That the only thing I know about politicians is that they are liars (or so I've been told by oh so many people in my life time) and that politics is a dirty, dirty business. Remember, objective journalism is the most important thing.
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Martin Frensel Joins the Crew
The number two man in New Hampshire on the hunt for some dirty secrets and awful insight. This is a hasty piece in the wake of the Iowa shamblefuck. Why we hired him, we don't know, as he has no credentials whatsoever. But he claims to "know people." Drunken Baffoon Embarasses Drunken Baffoons

CLICK HERE

These are links to the most disturbing porn clip we have found on the internet...so far.

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A Tit, A Tat, I Want to Kill You With a Bat

The Durk is back with another hackneyed approach and weak effort that really proves no point or makes no argument whatsoever. Or does it? Oh...it doesn't. Sorry. (HERE)

READ ME OR BE DEAD!

Begin the lengthy investigation into the Skull and Bones and how John F. Kerry and George W. Bush wish they could fuck each other. HERE

Martin Frensel in Wisconsin

He's finally back, after a two week hiatus during which no employee of the magazine had any clue where he was. (HERE)

On the Campaign Trail:
One Week in New Hampshire

Iowa:  Epilogue...."I Have a Scream"....Gepper Concedes....On to New Hampshire....John Edwards' Balls....W's State of the Union....Kerry the Front Runner (?)....Bad Hockey, Even Worse Publicity from the Kerry Campaign....Lieberman Campaign is D.O.A.....Smoking Pot with Kucinich Supporters.....Tucker Carlson....The Wagers....The Results/Lieberman Goes Senile....Somewhat of a Conclusion.  The Story »
oh shit
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